new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
