he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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