Do vagina's smell?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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