He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So many bounce houses so little time
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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