hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
