worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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