hotel room ftw
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
