Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
