I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
