Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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