ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
