I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
