Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
