Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I won the penis lottery.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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