You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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