I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
