I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
