McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
