Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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