No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
