well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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