She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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