I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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