Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
