Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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