Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
