haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
