After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
