She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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