I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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