I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
