remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
