Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
