That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
