In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
