Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
