bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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