I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
