Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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