I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
