No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
