i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
