You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
