Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
then he tried to convert me to islam
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
