D3 body, D1 cock
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
