i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
