he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
