look no pants
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
