By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
