I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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