I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
