idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
